RB 2.0 sparkle and shine

Was Sparkling overhead. The last few weeks on the horizon before I was actually going to have a summer. A summer with family

and summer with the bunny.

If only…

It wasn’t that easy when I was thinking about it pre-Covid. I didn’t want to go home. So many things have changed and of all the ones I can control the greatest change has been myself. That’s of course-the only thing I can control-ME.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to put myself back into an environment that may not be at my level of vibration.

I felt it was my duty to go home.

I didn’t know if it would fling me back these lightyears of growth…this is my journey and I had to really think about if I wanted to put myself in a situation where I didn’t feel happy, healthy, safe or free.

I wanted an excuse not to go and that is exactly what I got.

Welcome to COVID crash course, RB 2.0.

Now, my decisions will come with more ease, meaning and at the root of all decisions will be, ME. After all, this is my life and I know you’re living yours too.

Let me tell you-the day before I tested positive for covid I talked to my brother and we he a good game plan. Days ahead of flying airplanes, water park trips, even had some time stashed for me to make a run for Phoenix to see my beloved energy doctor.

All was going to be ok. I knew I was strong enough. I knew my healing was real and there could be no such set back when I trust myself.

Then-covid walked into the party.

Day 1. Headache. Bad. day 2-felt ok minus a slight backache. Day 3-7 unbearable Muscle and joint aches, headaches, fevers and tears of pain. Everyday day got worse.

One day, I sat in the bath and cried as I wrote a goodbye letter to the people I love. I don’t know that I have ever been in that much physical pain in my life.

Now, day 15.

IV’d up taking a crash course in how to love myself.

Which by the way, I thought I had already mastered.

They say 4 more days and that feels like an eternity. What I’m stuck trying to figure out is…why do I think every single thing that I possibly need is just one step away, one step outside of this hospital door, one step beyond my reach. That just simply isn’t the case. Everything I need, I harness right here, right now. Finding it, encompassing it and letting my magnificence shine ✨ has proven to be another task.

Working on it and I will continue to until I figure out, the deepest level of loving myself.

Illie

RB

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