Butterflies and Brown Eyes

Hello Butterflies,

Rachel here. How long has it been? I’d say about 2 years if I knew exactly 😉

It has been awhile.

You’ve entered my life again, quickly and unexpected. I wouldn’t expect anything less, butterflies.

Happy you’re here.

I’m the owner of a brand new perfectly fitting wetsuit with RAINBOW thread. I got to put it to use once. It was amazing to be in the ocean, in November, not even a bit cold.

I had CHILI and a cinnamon roll for the first time in Japan. AND COOL BLUE GATORADE.

I’m 15 seasons deep in survivor.

I just opened up my journal to realize that I haven’t written in it since early August. My writing has fallen on my priority list and I have got to bring it back to the top.

Back to my new wet suit. I love it and have NOW worn it several times for surfing and diving. Very loosely do I use the word, surfing. For me it is more of a…ride the wave and maybe get to the knees. I have to get my body stronger so that I can get up.

I have one class left until I complete the open water diving course. I’ll be a certified diver! When I first moved to Japan I met a dear friend who is a diver. I thought it was incredible that she had that kind of hobby. It never crossed my mind to have it as a hobby. I thought it was incredibly brave and admirable that she did such an adventurous activity so often…and I never thought, I should do that.

Now, here I am, doing it. It is one of the most exciting and healthy hobbies I have had. I’m looking forward to seeing, meeting and enjoying all that&who it brings into my life.

The first time I went diving about a month ago, when I was under the water I was thinking about how amazing it was to just be there. I could only concentrate on what was right in front of me. I don’t think I’ve ever been that present in a moment before. I couldn’t let my mind wander and I didn’t have to intentionally try not to wander. There was no distractions, no technology

no past or present.

All there is when I’m under the water is that moment. It is hard for me to write this past tense, and still hold the meaning so I’m going to take a breather here and try to write it as if I am under the water…

Before going under…Before placing the regulator in my mouth, my heart is POUNDING. Breathing under water feels unsafe and scary.

Regulator in, decending.

FISHIES. Blue. Purple. Rocks. Fishies. Yelps of joy coming out because I’m seeing the under water life.

Little effort to move smoothly, love this feeling.

Breathe.

The water is the most beautiful color. The fish are swimming around as if I am one of them. How cool that fish can accept and go on about life when something unknown enters into its living space. No judgement. No fear. No limitations. Trust and confidence. Giggling as I see things underwater I’ve never seen.

This point of view isn’t really working for me either…read with grace and hopefully you understand what I’m saying.

When I am under the water looking foward, 100% of my focus is on what is right in front of me. I am 100% in my body and only concerned with what I can see at that moment. There is no past or present. There is only that moment, the here and now.

When I’m outside of the water…I can be looking at what is right in front of me while thinking about a limitless amount of other things. It can be difficult to focus on what is right in front of me… Fear, limitations, the past and present use to be local dwellers in my life. One of the many qualities I hope to bring outside of the water with me is the focus and mentality of the here and now.

I breathe under water. That is something that terrified(s) me. I am doing something that makes my heart beat faster…yet I am doing it and I am in that moment. Being in the moment calms me down and doing something that use to be unimaginable becomes, enjoyable.

There is a lot to learn from this world of life, underwater.

I never thought I’d be doing this and here I am. This is a reoccurring theme in my life. The things I never thought I’d do, I can and will do. It is time to make my dreams bigger. Things I never thought I do is a limiting thought and I let go of all limitations.

 the provided terms.

Last night there was a full moon and with some preparation and planning I let go of a lifetime of beliefs that no longer (or never did) serve me.

I thought about who I am. I thought about the fear housed within my mind, body and soul. Fear was the root of almost every belief that I had, that was holding me back. Fear of missing out, losing someone I love, failing, succeeding, sadness, guilt. Fear is no longer a part of my life. I’ll tell you what is…

Universe, I am ready…

thank you for the unlimited: love, health, joy, excitement, money, possibilities, opportunities, grace, wisdom, strength, happies, relationships and special moments.

The universe has got my back.

Happy, healthy, free and safe.

illies

Rachel

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